I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Just invented taco cereal.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
