dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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