Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
