Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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