Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Randomize
