He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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