my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
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I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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