The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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