I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize