I've blown a few things in my day
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
