i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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