16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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