I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
