a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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