my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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