i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
