Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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