i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
