he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
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All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
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you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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