dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
