I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
