why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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