guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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