Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Oh god it's open bar.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize