If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
