I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
