So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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