ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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