ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
