I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Of course I have a pirate flag
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
