YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
