Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize