No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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