I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize