While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
