hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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