A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
There are leaves in my underwear?
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