At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
