I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
