he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
