Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I understand Curling. That high.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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