Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
