Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
