Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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