I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I cannot find my penis.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Come share oat with me in your robe
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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