i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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