i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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