Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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