Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
