dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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