Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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