Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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