i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
