Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
