Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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