I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
