she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Four minutes until I can fart!
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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