I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
