Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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