2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
