i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
