just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's never too late to be topless.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
