I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
