im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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