So drunk its hurt
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
