is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
