You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
