he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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