When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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